EXPERTS WARN GETTING DUNKED ON MAY LEAD TO BEING A LIL’ BITCH

Springfield, MA

New study released by Kobe University states the following:

“After extensive research Ballers at Kobe University have found conclusive evidence that being dunked on may lead to being a lil’ bitch.”

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-Kobe Bryant PHB

Rumors have been around ever since Bob Kurland, who is credited as the first person to “throw the heck down” in the year 1940 but confirmation eluded the public eye until this morning. Spectators of the beloved game, Canadian-American physical education teacher James Naismith invented all those years ago finally have some closer. The people finally know how to react when someone “has no regard for human life and jams it in the hole.”

“I was dunked on last Sunday playing a little pick-up game of 3 on 3 with my boys Roger and Frank after church. I was lost in the world for a while. I didn’t know who I was. Now that this study has come out at least I have some place on the blacktop. I’m a lil’ bitch and I own that.”

-Ray Bradbury (Elm Ridge Park Lil’ Bitch)

Ballologists knew this was going to be a huge breakthrough in the small town pick-up b-ball scene but, the impact it has already had on the National Basketball Association has been enormous.

“Yah, so what. I’m a lil’ bitch. Who cares! I can still ball. This is my life man. It can’t all go away cause of this. It’s who I am. I’m a baller! Well… I used to be… now I’m just a lil’ bitch.

- Shawn Bradley, Career Earnings: $69,580,00

The impact of this study seems to be growing exponentially. Profound ideas often change the world and this is no different. Be careful out there on the playground kids, the world is a dangerous place.

-A Well-Mannered Lil’ Bitch