Chicago, IL

Newly certified and overly enthusiastic LA Fitness personal trainer Bobbie Jackson, took to the gym floor for the first time this past Wednesday. Jackson walked around for three hours waiting for his first client. Finally noon struck and along came Jacqueline Burke. After a quick meet and greet the workout was underway and Jackson’s counting skills were put to the test. This was the day Bobbie Jackson would be paid to count to ten.

We received and have placed below a copy of the planned workout for Miss Burke. Mr. Jackson said he hopes his workout plans can help everyone looking to improve their overall fitness.

Bobbie (The Bruiser) Jackson’s ULTIMATE HOUR PUMP!!!

  1. 10 Sets of 10 Push-Ups.

  2. 10 Sets of 10 Sit-Ups.

  3. 10 Sets of 10 Squats.

  4. 10 Sets of 10 Miles.

  5. 10 Sets of 10 That Thing Where You Put Your Head On a Baseball Bat And Spin.

  6. 10 Sets of 10 Laps Around The Gym Waiting For Any Piece Of Equipment To Become Available.

  7. 10 Sets of 10 Conversations That Are Way Too Personal And Insincere.

  8. 10 Sets of 10 Glances In The Mirror To Be Disgusted By Yourself And Wish You Were Literally Anyone And Everyone Else Around You.

  9. 10 Sets of 10 Water Breaks Because Water Is Good For You.

  10. 10 Sets of 10 Of Your Best Efforts To Reject A Smarmy And Sexist Salesperson From Exploiting Your Insecurities To Get In Your Wallet.

When we asked Jackson how he thought his first training session went, he responded “I always knew I could count to ten.” We wish Bobbie Jackson only the best. He deserves all ten of the dollars he makes per hour… before taxes.

—A Well-Mannered Grump