The fourth of July just past us but, there's still plenty of America left to go around, America. Major League Baseball has it’s mid-season festivities right around the corner. The best of the best square off in the All-Star Game because, what's more American than really really good baseball played by really really good baseball people? Well, let us break it down. Small ball score sport not too good fun. Big bang theory hard-hit better smiles ands better baseball. Obviously, we’re talking about… THE HOME RUN DERBY! Eight of the sluggiest of sluggers slug it out to see who is the even sluggiest slugger. This year’s favorite is none other than the Milwaukee Brewers Pete Davidson.
Some of you may know Davidson from a television show that is only on very late on the weekends when everyone is out doing better things. For the majority of us, however, he is a New York Funny Man and now he’s the favorite to win the 2019 Home Run Derby. We asked Davidson how he manages to film a live television show most Saturday nights and play 162 baseball games in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. “That's a different per-… ya know what f*** it. I have two very fast groundhogs as pets. I keep one in NYC and the other in Milwaukee. While I am being a funny man in NYC or an outfielder in Wisconsin each groundhog has certain responsibilities depending on the city I reside in. Duties include tunnel maintenance, changing my litter box, and putting on a false mustache and going into deli’s so people turn and whisper “is that a groundhog wearing a false mustache ordering a pastrami on rye?” That last one is for my New York groundhog.” Said Davidson.
We then asked about his strict training regimen and daily schedule. Yelich is quoted as saying “I owe most of my good running and baseball abilities and uh stuff to my girlfriend.”
It should be noted that Yelich was playing a little joke on us media folk. Yelich does not currently have a public relationship but he referred to his girlfriend jokingly as “Mary Jane”.
You can catch Davidson tee off at the Home Run Derby 8 pm ET Monday, July 8th and then watch switch the channel to FXX to watch a middle-aged Davidson play a giant green man in Thor: Ragnarok under the pseudonym Mark Ruffalo.
-A Well-Mannered Grump