MADAM HOOCH THINKS QUAFFLE LOOKS FUNNY TODAY

Lyon Olympic Stadium, France

Madam Hooch or Meagan Rapinoe?

Madam Hooch or Meagan Rapinoe?

Today some of the world’s best took to the Quidditch pitch for the final match of the 2019 Women’s World Cup. Tensions were high at the top of the match as The United States faced off against The Netherlands. The USA team captain  Madam Hooch made an observation early on that the Quaffle looked different than she remembered.

This wasn’t the only oddity Hooch made note of, “There were plenty of strange things I noticed during today’s match.” said Hooch, she then went on to describe a few.

“Well for one, all of these fine witches were opting to play the game on foot. I looked for quite a while and not a single broomstick was to be seen. I felt quite foolish”. 

It was at this point we realized Madam Hooch had somehow done a little Lindsey Lohan Freaky Friday shit with the real USA Team Captain Megan Rapinoe. Hooch seemed unaware. Apparently, the Quidditch World Cup is held in the same location and at the same time as the muggle Soccer/Football World Cup. Strange but, that seems to be what this story is asking for to be plausible. We allowed Hooch to continue. 

“Also I observed people calling me Megan. Megan is not my name. I thought this was strange.” said Hooch. We then asked if she had ever heard of a sport called “soccer” she hadn’t. She’s from Britain. “Have you heard of a sport called “football?” we asked. “Yes!” Hooch replied with enthusiasm. 

After confirming Hooch’s knowledge of the sport we tried for a very very long time to explain that she was experiencing the plot of Freaky Friday staring Hollywood darlings Lindsey Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis. “Doesn't a supernatural Chinese restaurant waiter that overheard me wish I didn’t have the pressure of being a witch all the time seem like a far-fetched idea and a plot that certainly would not hold up over the course of a feature film?” questioned Hooch. “Doesn't any sort of mistake based plot in a wizarding world where there is a technology to literally turn back time seem a bit unbelievable?” we added. “I see your point.” Hooch responded as she nodded and scored the first goal of the 2019 World Cup. 

-A Well-Mannered Grump