Bobby House isn’t quite what the typical person would describe as a fashion aficionado. Most days he can be seen walking the streets of Chicago in a simple graphic tee, a breathable pant, and long white tube socks he bought in bulk. One might think, given the variables House opted to plug into the fashion equation, that the sum of women interested in him are close to nothing.
This would be the case if…
Bobby wasn’t absolutely shredded and 14 inches tall.
You see a new study found that while traditionally knee high bleach white tube socks have been a huge turn off for women there are some body types that can pull it off. Below is a diagram that takes a deeper dive into the numbers.
For the more number savvy the formula used to calculate what type of person can pull of white knee high tube socks is as follows ; Where S = Are the shredded and 14” = Are they 14” tall.
S + 14”= 👍
Now that we’ve discussed the quantitative side of this study let’s dive deeper into the “why”. Let’s qualify this bad boy.
You see a knee high tube sock on a 14” tall man is like probably almost the same amount of fabric used to make a sensible no-show sock for normal sized people so like this is like probably why it’s cool.
As far as the shredded portion goes… as much as society seems to chastise men for objectifying women the same standard doesn't seem to hold true when it comes to men being objectified by women. Of course this may be because the number of cases in which men sexually harass women far surpass the number cases where the roles are reversed.
Anyway, a huge kudos to Bobby House for being able to snag some tail and live out his lifelong dream of sporting long ass white tube socks on a daily basis.
-A Well-Mannered Grump