GRANDDAUGHTER FINDS THE BOOK SHE’S LOOKING FOR IN A ROOM FULL OF GRANDPAS

Harold Washington Library

Chicago, IL

“Has Anyone Seen The Book I’m Looking For?”

“Has Anyone Seen The Book I’m Looking For?”

Sam Silver was born and raised on the near west side in Chicago, Illinois. She and her family have many fond memories of taking the “L” into the loop and setting up shop for the day at the famous Harold Washington Library. Now that Silver is about to ship off to The University of Miami in just a few weeks she asked her grandfather for one last hoorah. Besides Sam had to find this particular edition of “One Hundred Years Of Solitude” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez for introductory Spanish. This visit was different. On this visit grandpa Silver went missing.

One moment Silver was telling her grandfather to wait for her while she went to the restroom, the next, Silver was going full-on Judy Blume on his ass.

Unbenounced to his granddaughter, Earl Silver just so happened to run into an old college pal while young Sam was in the lavatory.  It wasn’t just any college buddy, it was Jim (the hustler) Bloom himself. You see back in the 70’s at The University of Cincinnati, Jim Bloom was notorious for going into the local pool halls and pulling the ole “Drake and Josh Season 2 Episode 5”. For those unfamiliar with this television classic, IMBD defines the episode as “Drake takes advantage of Josh's billiard skills by hustling local kids and swindling them out of their money.” 

So naturally these two swagmisters picked up right where they left off. Bloom and Grandpa Silver called all their old college buddies or, at least the ones that were still alive and turnt the fuck up

Meanwhile, Sam Silver was coming up on a half hour of searching and she thought it may be time for a new approach. “If I wasn’t going to find them, I was going to let them find me. I mean how far could they have gotten?” 

Jim and Earl had catering delivered from Quiznos to the top floor… the restricted section. They got a lot of nos from their college buddies who now all live in Florida so they opted to go party patron recruiting throughout the library, everywhere but the second floor where Sam happend to make the decision to stay put and wait. 

A half hour turned into an hour and then to two and finally Sam decided to take action. 

“Would a Mr. Earl Silver please come to the second floor reception desk. Earl Silver to the second floor reception desk.” echoed the voice of the librarian through the PA system. 

Of course by this time the DJ had arrived to the impromptu rager in the restricted section and the announcement was washed out by an oddly catchy EDM Sinatra mashup.

A minute turned into five and five quickly became fifteen. Sam was fed up with this. She spent the next hour scouring every nook and cranny of the nine story building. Out of breath and sweating rather noticeably Silver approached the top step where she plunked herself down. She let out a frustrated growl. 

“You okay kid?” asked an old man who was peering out from a room with music blaring.

“Yah. Yah, I’m fine. You have any water?” asked Silver.

“Sure do. Come on in.”

Silver entered the room and there must have been forty absolutely hammered senior citizens going HAM. In the middle of it all was some old guy grinding up on some other old guy in front of a shelf that read Gabriel Garcia Marquez. She had found the book she was looking for. 

Silver then noticed the man grinding up on this dude was her grandpa Earl.

-A Well-Mannered Grump