Child Thinks They Are A Pokémon. Child Is In Fact A Human Child

Rocky Hill, CT

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Early this morning a photoshoot took place but, not just any ole photoshoot, a photoshoot in Carol Lynn’s front yard. Lynn was snapping pics per the request of her son Gregory who wanted to “document how much he looked like a Pokémon because he never wanted to forget this moment.” 

The problem became clear early on in the photoshoot. Young Gregory not only thought he looked like a Pokémon but actually thought he was one.

“The kid just took his shirt off, began thrashing around in a pile of rocks and began saying I am Geodude, I AM GEODUDE. The kid has ADHD for sure, but probably something else- ya know what I’ll hold my tongue.” said neighbor and father of zero Jim Johnson.

Carol Lynn just kept taking pictures. She let her Pokémon of a son flounder and the locomote all over the front yard yelling utter nonsense like “My HP! I have no HP oh No an ULTRA BALL. ENSLAVEMENT! ENSLAVEMENT!” 

Eventually, this little Pokémon ran out of energy. He slowed down. He laid headfirst sprawled out across the now churned up grass. “Greg?” said Carol, you know you’re in fact a human child right? Gregory?” 

Gregory mustered with his last ounce of energy.  “NO I GEODUDE!”

“Okay Geodude, well I’m Golem, a dual-type Rock/Ground Pokémon introduced in Generation I. Golem evolves from Graveler when trained and is the final form of Geodude. And It’s time for lunch,” said Carol Lynn.


-A Well-Mannered Grump