Ahh yes, do you smell that? It seems the fall is upon us folks. When the fall comes around, so does the opening of Liberal Arts colleges around the country. With that comes the annual, metaphorical reach of a hand into the pockets of Daddies, Mommies, near you.
Brent Davis, an undeclared freshman at Muhlenberg College was, in his own words, “artistically gifted and probably above an entry-level photography class.” So, when Davis was given his first photography assignment he thought he would show the class, nay, the world, nay...the art department, just how “gifted” he really was.
You see, Brent Davis... knew how mirrors worked.
Wa wa we wa, what a guy.
So Brent Davis asked his roommate to be his model. His roommate, by the way, is David Brently. You know, THE David Brently that actually got playing time in the first football game of the year as a freshman. Soo… he’s probably had a blow job or at least some over the pants stuff by now.
The two young men unscrewed the mirror that hangs on the back of all the dorm room doors and headed for the local park. Brent Davis had a very good idea. “Hold the mirror in front of your torso so when I take a picture of you I see the reflection of the park and not your torso,” said Davis. A few shifts of the f-stop and a couple of alterations of the ISO later, the two had crafted true meaningful and honest art. Davis was excited to rub it in the face of his obviously inferior classmates the next day.
Brent also used the burn tool in Photoshop a lot because Brent was a swag king and this was going to be his big break at this school.
The next day rolled around and the professor asked everyone to print out and pin their picture to the wall. What happened next, Brent Davis did not see coming.
Almost every student had unscrewed the same mirror off their dorm room door and made it look like their roommate had no torso! Every student but, Bobbie Barry who took a box of tampons and put money all around it claiming it was social commentary but, clearly was done minutes before the class because you could see the same outfit Bobbie was wearing that day in the background of the photo.
We asked Brent Davis how he felt when leaving the class. “Freak occurrence there's no way I’m not the best at everything,” said Davis.
-A Well-Mannered Grump